The Time You Started Sleeping on Your Own... Kindda

This week, we hit a breaking point. I hate hearing you cry and I often bend over backwards to make sure you are not crying EVER. Your daddy can roll with it much better but I see him pick you up too - because he loves his little princess and you've got him wrapped around your little finger. Long story longer, I also haven't been getting much sleep. I twist around to make space for you in bed and I am constantly terrified that our co-sleeping will take a turn to dangerously wrong - just like all the teaching I've given to other mothers at work. You are getting bigger and you move a lot more in your sleep. You are also waking up and crawling so on the off chance that you wake up and crawl right over us and off the bed, we opted to start getting you used to this nice big room you have here with all of your things. The crib has been your nemesis. Now that you stand up, you hate it and you immediately cling to the bars and scream when left alone. My heart breaks every time because I would hate to be scared and lonely and left alone all night too, but everyone swears you will be fine. Read this and know that I hated every minute you weren't with me. I hated every second you were screaming and crying - and by the way - I was crying most nights too. I hated not snuggling with you all night long, but everyone says you need a little independence and the ability to soothe yourself. Even your pediatrician swears by it. Apparently, daddy and I are waking you up just by being next to you. I've been reading a no-cry sleep solution book but ironically I'm reading too slow and while I'm in my room reading the no-cry sleep solution, you are in the other room crying it out. It's Team McKinney against Team Taylor with the crying it out solution. I broke though, I gave in and let you cry. I'm telling you it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. You look so terrified and sad in your room and you literally look like you are melting as you slowly release your grip from the crib bar or pack-n-play side and fall asleep, BUT you do fall asleep. We've had to let you cry a few times throughout the night as you wake in the evening. The second you REALLY cry in the morning, I'm right there and we get our snuggle in and you sleep with me and daddy a little bit longer after drinking your breakfast. I get that little bit of loving still and I relish those sweet morning moments. You are only going to be this little for a minute and it already feels so fast. We shall see how the crying it out goes. So far, the crying has gone from 45 minutes/never stopping to about five minutes or less.