The First Few Weeks

Your surprise early arrival gave us the opportunity to stay in Austin with you a little longer than we had anticipated. We had mentally been prepared to live here about two weeks with you to get through to the first doctor visit, but the extra week caught us by surprise. I wasn’t even done officially with the work I was scheduled for yet. We had to make a run to get diapers and wipes and bust out some of the clothes that we happened to keep in Austin. I only thought we would need a few outfits and you ended up rotating a few outfits over and over again. Don’t worry that will all be fixed when we go to Houston and you find out that you in fact have tons and tons of clothes. Daddy and I were scared to leave the hospital with you because it would be a lot more real than it felt. It still felt surreal. Fortunately, GiGi came back up and helped us transition. You were so easy and so chill that it wasn’t at all what I expected. Sure I woke up lots during the night two or three times to feed you but I already didn’t sleep well or much so that didn’t phase me. GiGi helped out with holding you a little during the day so I could do things at home. I ended up feeling more like I was hosting GiGi than really needing help but it sure felt nice to have your grandma there in case I panicked. I think she really enjoyed sharing your first moments with you too. After that first week, your Taylor family came to meet you too. They were in St. John when you were born and we had to deliver the good news via phone. They were disappointed to be late but they were thrilled to meet you when they did. Grannie Jannie and Aunt Sabita stayed a few days later than the rest of the family. Your first photo shoot was orchestrated by your Taylor grandmother. We went to Hobby Lobby and stocked up on background fabrics and props. You were a great photo subject for a good two hours but then the new mommy in me couldn’t handle your subtle cues of annoyance due to all of the fiddling with you anymore and I called it. We got some super cute pictures from it though and below is the one that we used for your birth announcement. Beautiful. 

Everyone thought so. Finally, we had a few days with just us. GiGi took your brothers to Houston so it was really just us. Your daddy and I really enjoyed those early moments. We started a bad habit, though, of having you snuggle to sleep with me instead of in your crib. We only had the pack-n-play in Austin and you had issues with acid reflux so you weren’t comfortable sleeping on your back. I couldn’t bear hearing you cry – it was so much harder than I imagined having to listen to you uncomfortable. You weren’t really even crying much but I just knew you wouldn’t even make a single noise if I held you so I did. I held you all the time. I never wanted to put you down. I didn’t even want to sleep. I just wanted to stare at you all the time. I was sold on you, and your daddy’s heart was melted by you too. 

The Celebrations and Commemorations

You were showered with love on many occasions. My best friend here in Austin, Kelsey Edwards, offered to throw a shower with Mandy Krutsinger, and then you also had one in Houston thrown by Camille, Ms. Gretchen, . 

Both events were awesome. In Houston, lots of old family friends and high school friends came to celebrate you. We got a ridiculous amount of stuff. The theme was favorite books so many people brought their favorites for you. We also got the stroller set from your Taylor grandparents so that we super nice. In Austin, the set up and decorations were gorgeous and we got lots of great stuff from my friends at work and church. GiGi got you the revamped rocking chair, made a pillow, and got the bedding set for your crib. We had so much stuff for you, but the best part was being with a lot of people that I don’t get to see often enough and celebrating this new part of my life – waiting for you to make your debut. 

While I was in Houston, GiGi and I went out to take maternity pictures. I may have been a little too gutsy standing up on waterfalls while 37 weeks pregnant but they turned out pretty cute. We had to stuff my tummy and lay on pillows at some points to make my stomach look as pregnant as I was. Fortunately, you didn’t take up a lot of space and between you and the gestational diabetes and throwing up, I hadn’t gained much weight at all. In the nick of time, daddy and I also went out in Austin with Uncle Chance and took couple’s maternity pictures too. It was all business with your dad and I was pretty tired on my feet by this time marching around south Congress looking for photo opportunities, but they also turned out pretty cute. We got them taken just before you came so it was great timing on our part and yours! 

Hey There Delilah

Your daddy and I had gotten a package deal with the ultrasound boutique. At this point, I was getting a bunch of ultrasounds between necessary ones with the doctor and the perinatalogist for the gestational diabetes, but before I knew that would be happening, I had already purchased this package. It consisted of two 3D/4D ultrasounds where we got to see you first at 18 weeks then at 33 weeks. Both times we got lots of pictures and video clips of the experience. We went to the first consultation just the three of us – me, daddy, and you. Then, GiGi came with us for the final ultrasound. I’m so glad that we did this. It was pretty amazing to see you. The first time you resembled Lord Voldemort a little bit but now you were plumper and more baby-like. I could see my nose on you and we were a little nervous you had daddy’s ears. You were sucking on your hands and your foot at one point. Don’t worry you found those hands again after birth very quickly for soothers. It was an awesome experience to meet you so early. It made it very real despite the daily kicks that were my constant reminders. 

As for your name, it was a long time coming. I wanted a name that was not super common but not too crazy either. Your daddy surprisingly agreed to an uncommon name. I was so sure that he would want a run-of-the-mill name, but he came up with some of the most unique recommendations. We started with the top 100 names list and we each highlighted our top ten choices. There were not many common highlights. We started this process back when we thought you might still be a boy. We had more boy names in common than girl names. Another problem was me working at the children's hospital. I would like a name then I would have a crazy or super sad case with the same name and it would ruin it. I kept coming back to one of my favorite names, Lily. Unfortunately, your Aunt Taryn beat me to the punch on this name and used it for your cousin's middle name. I was playing off of variations of this name when I came up with Lilah. I really liked it. It seemed unique but still had the Lily flavor. Then I stepped it up to Delilah and I thought this name was pretty, cute, and I had not seen a Delilah at the hospital yet. I figured you would have lots of options with it too. When you get old enough to care, you could choose from Delilah, Lilah, or Lily - or frankly whatever you want. The middle name was easy. We wanted to honor someone in our family by passing to you a family member's name and it was second nature to me to pick Jean. Your daddy's grandmother was one of the most amazing women I have ever met and it breaks my heart that you won't have the opportunity to meet her when you get here. I know that she would have loved you. When I first met her, she loved me instantly without reservation and without judgement. She was graceful, kind, and selfless. She had served so many people through missions for the church and just in her daily life. Everyone that knew her spoke so highly of her. She was such a warm presence to be around. Even when things were the worst for her, she maintained an amazing demeanor with ever present faith, love, and hope. With her name, I hope that you are constantly reminded of a wonderful woman who I know is watching over you now and loves you very much too! 

The Illness Called Pregnancy

Now for the negatives. You were not a bundle of joy inside the womb. I’m calling it. I did not like being pregnant. There were moments where it was exciting and amazing, but there were many more moments were it was not. I was sick about 5 or 6 times a day everyday for about 7 months of the pregnancy. Now we aren’t talking mild nausea but full-on vomiting multiple times a day - again EVERYDAY! I already loved the whole idea of you, but this was torture. It started about 8 weeks into the pregnancy with mild nausea. I started using ginger gum and acupressure wrist bands. Then it got worse and I stepped it up to Zofran - so much Zofran. I got my first refill prescription from a doctor in the ER at work because I was so miserable that I couldn’t wait the whole weekend to call my doctor for a refill. Working full time did not help either. Running around on my feet for twelve hours with high intensity cases was tough when I had to keep running out of the rooms to throw up. Everyone kept telling me it was because you were a girl or (my favorite) don’t worry, you won’t remember this later. I still remember. It’s hard to forget throwing up so hard that you pee on yourself a little every time - all new kinds of embarrassing. But to add insult to injury, I find out at about 28 weeks that I not only have hyper-emesis but I also have gestational diabetes. There was no history on either side of our families of diabetes – during pregnancy or otherwise. My numbers were subtle and thankfully I could manage it with dietary changes alone rather than medication. I did have to prick myself four times daily to take blood glucose levels. I quickly was able to take that down to a couple of times a week to maintain good numbers because for the first time in my life, I was intense with my diet - only for you baby girl. It was difficult though as a no sugar and low carb diet would be hard for anyone, but especially for me who pretty much lives on pasta and pizza. Daddy took me out for one last Double Dave’s pizza buffet before committing to the diet. The one benefit of gestational diabetes was seeing a specialist once a month for the duration of the pregnancy. I got to have an ultrasound each time and see you again. You were pretty cute even in-utero. The one scary thing is that each time they would tell me how huge you were and that you were going to be a fat baby – an anticipated possible outcome of a gestational diabetes case. My numbers were looking good but you kept getting bigger. I had to get stricter with my diet to manage it. I even went to the doctor 8/1/12 and they told me that you were still on “the big side” and if you went full term that you would be 9-10 pounds. Looking back, I definitely still remember the difficulty with the pregnancy, but what I am most surprised with is how eager I would be to do it all again if I had to because of what a wonderful outcome I had - because of you - the baby who was most definitely not on "the big side". 

The Gender Reveal

Like I said, I had a few more ultrasounds than most others by this point because of my friends in the ER. The story here is in the details. On the 16^th, I had an ultrasound at work with a few nurse friends that were adamant that you were a boy. They printed me a picture and told me what was what. Awkwardly, a male doctor that happened to be working that night also came in to see what we were doing and decided to dive in and help out. I did not know him as well as the girls I was working with so it was a little weird, but he was the one who said that it was too early to tell gender. Despite the doctor’s words, I was starting to celebrate the news. I told your daddy that you were a boy while he was waking up the morning I came home from work. I shook him a little and said you are going to have a son. He was thrilled – he even almost woke up a little which is a big deal for your dad that early in the morning. Then along comes the 21^st when we went to have our anatomy ultrasound at the Austin Perinatal office. The woman who was performing the ultrasound was super quick and efficient and just went on warp speed through the ultrasound. She did ask if we wanted to know the gender, and she did not really dwell on it or make it dramatic like they do in the movies. But, we were definitely shocked like they show in the movies because instead of saying it’s a boy as we had expected she told us you were a little girl! To be honest, I cried a little in the car when we left the office. It was not because I was not thrilled to have you, but I had mentally prepared myself for a little boy and considering how much of a tomboy that I was, I thought I would be better equipped to be a basketball player’s mom than a ballerina's mom. I also thought that your dad would be more excited with a baby boy so I felt like I was disappointing him. It took us a little time to wrap our heads around having a girl, but within a week or two, I was buying pink clothes and spending hours perusing names for you. It wouldn’t be until we had you when we really realized what a blessing it was to have a girl - and your daddy could not stop talking about how happy he was to have daddy's little angel first. 

The First Kick

I felt you kick today. It was amazing. It was light and it happened once then not for a while after that, but I knew without a doubt that it was you and not my stomach. They said it would be like a little fluttering that I would feel first, but that I never noticed anything that I would describe like that. It was definitely a jab. It was the first time that I got really excited about you coming. Up until then I was just very sick so I was more often frustrated with the inconvenience of pregnancy than the excitement of your arrival. Your little kick changed the ball game. It made it real. I wasn’t just sick with the flu - there was a little person inside of me working very hard getting ready to meet me. It really was real.

The Announcement

I had some reservations about making the public announcement. I was so anxious about something going wrong and how it would feel to have to update the world with the bad news. On the other hand, we had been harboring this secret that we were so excited about that we could barely contain ourselves without telling others. At this point, our immediate families and a few friends were the only ones that knew so far, which included: Bridget, Kristin, Kelsey, Sarah, and Bronwyn. A few extras at work also knew because I was getting ultrasounds done for free in the trauma room at 3 or 4 in the morning with some of the nurses. They got to practice their skills while I got to see you for the first few times. I posted a video I captured during one of my first ultrasounds at work. You were jumping up and down and waving your arms. I posted the video with a status saying that Gambit and Dexter were going to be big brothers. The world of facebook was excited and eagerly anticipating your arrival. This also initiated the onslaught of my facebook posting - overposting. If ever there was an annoying mom-to-be that thought everything their body/fetus did was post worthy, it was me! I wanted the world to know about every tiny detail of your prenatal life and wow what a pace I was setting for what would be posted after you were actually here.