The Move to Houston

We thought that you would be living in Houston longer of your life than even this, but it was time to go to GiGi and Pop Pop’s house for the duration of my maternity leave. Since you came three weeks early, we ended up staying in Austin longer with you than anticipated. We had about three weeks in the old apartment making it work with the limited baby clothing and equipment that we had. Daddy and I thought we did a pretty good job of taking care of you by ourselves, but even while in Austin we weren’t really by ourselves for more than a week. GiGi stayed with us for one week then Grannie Jannie and Sabita came up for a few days too. It was nice to come home to my parents though to help us transition into being parents ourselves. You had a blast getting to spend more time with your grandparents on both sides. I loved being back at home and visiting with high school friends like Bridget, Jill, and Dani. Daddy took a little time to adjust to living with his in-laws but quickly settled in and seemed to be comfortable too. It was very nice to take it easy and enjoy you surrounded by family and friends . It was a whirlwind experience and it flew by so quickly, but I loved it and I think you did too. Both of your grandmas though felt it was way too quick and missed you incredibly when we left to go back to Austin. 

The Arrival

You surprised us all with your early arrival. I was more than ready mentally and emotionally and physically for you to arrive, but logistically, we probably could have used another week or so. I had another week of work slated – which was funny because I did take off a week prior to your anticipated due date in anticipation of a possibly early arrival, but apparently that was not enough for you. I’ll claim it until the day I die, but I felt like something was going to happen… call it mother’s intuition. That Thursday, I called my supervisor to ask if I had an on-call person for my Friday overnight shift – just in case. She asked if I was okay and I said I was fine, but again just in case. That night, I laid in bed with my ipod app counting contractions – at least what I thought might be contractions. I was starting to get nervous. I kept thinking that I wasn’t going to know what labor was and that I wasn’t ready. Your daddy came into the room and thought I was being ridiculous sitting up awake at 3AM. I didn’t tell him what I was doing until later. I didn’t want to alert the media before I was sure. Whatever it was that I thought I was feeling, they stopped and were inconsistent anyway so I gave up counting and finally fell asleep. I was actually napping through the morning in preparation for my Friday night overnight shift when things really started to happen. It was 4:45PM when I was starting to wake up and get ready for work. I was still lying in bed when I felt a rush of water. Considering that I was lying down this felt strange and definitely not normal. I got up and went to the bathroom. I was pretty convinced that my water had broken but I was also in shock a little. I called the on-call doctor and spoke with the doctor who would later deliver you. She told me that at this stage in most women’s pregnancies it is not unusual for them to pee on themselves and think that their water is breaking. She asked if it was still happening and I wasn’t completely sure but I said that I didn’t think so – I was wrong by the way, it didn’t stop until after I delivered! She told me to go to work if I felt comfortable and then see how things went or if I just wanted to check to make sure, I could go to the hospital and get triaged. Ultimately, she said to tell my supervisor that I would be late, but that I would lately come in to work tonight. I called Cindy to ask for assistance and tell her that I would lately be in because I felt fine but that I might be a little late. Cindy told me to go to the hospital and not worry about coming in just in case. I called GiGi and told her. At this point, I was trying to remain super calm. I didn’t want to get too excited if it was a false alarm. GiGi thought I was being completely silly downplaying it and she’s the one who told me that you were definitely coming. GiGi was already making plans with Pop Pop to come to Austin. Daddy walked in at about 5PM. I had already repacked both of the hospital bags and was sitting on the couch waiting for him to arrive. He walked in, and I said, “Okay, it will probably just be a checkup but we need to go to the hospital – I think my water may have broken”. Daddy looks at me and says “How serious is this? Can I eat some ice cream first?” So instead of rushing to the hospital chaotically, I sat calmly on the couch while your daddy ate a bowl of ice cream and checked his email. Then we finally left for the hospital after taking out the dogs. We left the bags in the car because we didn’t want to be those people – the ones that came all ready to check in then had to go back home to wait longer. By the time we made it to the ER and were waiting, I had soaked through my second pair of pants. I was pretty embarrassed! The whole way over your daddy was saying that it was too early and that he didn’t think that it was really happening. Boy, did we show him! We finally got up to triage and the nurse placed a piece of litmus-looking paper on my pants and said “Yes that’s your water breaking, let’s move you into a room – you’re not going home now!” I looked at your daddy and said “Told you!” We got checked into our nice big room to wait for you to arrive. They told us that they like to see babies delivered within 24 hours of the water breaking to avoid the chance for infection so the clock had started. I couldn’t feel any contractions and had no pain so they had to hook me up to monitors to watch my contractions and your heartbeat. It was always exciting to hear your fast little heartbeat. My natural birth plan was slowly fading away, however, because once they attached me to all of the monitors even with the plug-free versions it was difficult to walk around without them falling off. The nurse checked me out and it looked like it was still going to be a while. The nurse told us that the doctor wanted me to get some sleep and that we would check me out in the morning. I told them that I was ready for an overnight shift so I was not tired at all. They gave me a sleeping pill so that I could prep for the hard work of the morning. Even with a sleeping pill, I only slept about four hours. I was so excited. Daddy, true to form, slept without a problem even on his little cot. The morning came around and at 6AM the nurse informed me that without more progress that the doctor was recommending Pitocin to kick start the labor into hyperdrive due to our ticking countdown. We agreed despite hearing that once Pitocin kicks in that it is a lot harder to stick with the natural birth plan as the pain is more significant than natural labor typically that we would try to keep with it without the epidural. But, I went from zero on the pain scale to over 10 within 10 minutes once the Pitocin drip started, and doing it without pain medication was starting to look like an epic challenge. I did my deep breathing through about four hours of intense contractions every minute or so. Daddy was sitting across the room still in shock that this was even happening and GiGi was at bedside holding my hand through contractions. I started becoming a little tearful with each contraction. Now, I wasn’t crying – not by a long shot, but I was also starting to believe that I wasn’t capable of this. The nurse came back in and told us that you weren’t likely to be making your grand appearance until after dinner… mind you it was about 10ish in the morning. I didn’t think that I could make it another hour much less until after dinner. I started to whine about it a bit to your grandmother and father. Everyone was telling me to consider getting the epidural. I felt like I was letting you and the nurse that had been so gung-ho about natural childbirth down. Eventually… after about ten minutes… I decided that I was going to cave and I said heck yeah to the epidural. The doctor came in with the medicine and all of the horror stories I heard about the big giant needle and the pain of it went out the window. I didn’t see the needle but it was quick and painless. I asked them to keep it on the lowest dose. It kicked in fast and the subtle pain that I was starting to feel – even that was gone. Awesome! The doctor checked me out just after the epidural and it turns out that I was already 8 cm… probably could have made it naturally at that point, but I gave in before I knew! Within 30 minutes, the doctor came in and said it looks like we are ready to start pushing. I was shocked. We went from after dinner to thirty minutes later. Your daddy was taking a restroom break and I was afraid he wouldn’t make it back in time. Your Pop Pop was also still in the room. I kicked him out fast and told him to find daddy quick. Just in time, daddy came in and ran to his spot at the top of the bed where he didn’t have to see anything too graphic and he held my head. The doctor even asked if he wanted to hold my foot at one point but he was too nervous and uninterested in that front row seat so he kept his hand on my shoulder and head and his eyes to the wall. GiGi was taking pictures and holding my foot for the doctor. It only took about ten minutes of pushing and there you were. I didn’t even have time to get emotional. It happened so much faster than me or your daddy anticipated and it was so much easier than I thought too. I was chill with no crying or screaming or breaking your father’s hand like on the movies. It was such a sweet, peaceful entry into the world. I got to hold you immediately. 



You were so tiny and crying. It was the most amazing experience and surreal moment of my life. It was beautiful. Daddy cut your umbilical cord and kept taking pictures and video of you as they cleaned you up. The cleaned me up quick and cut the medications on me. I felt great within 15-20 minutes and was walking around by myself. I didn’t feel out of it or weak or anything. The epidural didn’t have much of a lasting impression and I assumed it was due to the fact that I didn’t have to be on it long. I got you back shortly thereafter and you fed for the first time. You were a rock star from the start with that. We were the only ones in the labor and delivery unit that weekend so we got lots of special attention. You, me, and daddy spent a lot of alone time at the hospital, but your Uncle Zach came into town to watch the dogs and meet you so your daddy left occasionally too and it was just you and me. GiGi and Pop Pop stuck around to introduce themselves to you but then they went back to Houston and GiGi came back up later. Those moments with you alone with just you and me were very special. I memorized your face and features. You were so cuddly in the swaddle but you were also so alert when you woke up. I think you were studying me as much as I was studying you. Daddy loved holding you too. He found a position that he really liked to hold you in and he almost wouldn’t let me have you back sometimes. Daddy even took on diaper duty already and though his first diaper was aided by doctor’s gloves, he fell into a daddy routine with you instantaneously. You just fit right into our lives like it was always meant to be. You had a lot of hospital visitors in the days to follow including: Aunt Taryn, Uncle Chris, Uncle Chance, Uncle Nicholas, your cousins, Berkley and Brett, and friends like Kelsey and Tim, and Sarah Stanley and her mother. Everyone thought you were beautiful and of course I shared it pretty quickly on Facebook so the world could start adoring you too. We stayed at the hospital for three days with no complications. You were very healthy and you scored perfect on every test. The nurse said that she had been there for 13 years and she had only seen two other babies score a perfect 10 on their Apgar score. You also dominated the hearing test in a few short minutes when it can sometimes take up to thirty minutes for babies to pass that. What did we expect, we knew you were going to be a little genius right off the bat. Beautiful and brainy! Then it was time to take you home. Nervous? Yes. Ready? Somewhat. Elated? Definitely, without a doubt. 

The First Few Weeks

Your surprise early arrival gave us the opportunity to stay in Austin with you a little longer than we had anticipated. We had mentally been prepared to live here about two weeks with you to get through to the first doctor visit, but the extra week caught us by surprise. I wasn’t even done officially with the work I was scheduled for yet. We had to make a run to get diapers and wipes and bust out some of the clothes that we happened to keep in Austin. I only thought we would need a few outfits and you ended up rotating a few outfits over and over again. Don’t worry that will all be fixed when we go to Houston and you find out that you in fact have tons and tons of clothes. Daddy and I were scared to leave the hospital with you because it would be a lot more real than it felt. It still felt surreal. Fortunately, GiGi came back up and helped us transition. You were so easy and so chill that it wasn’t at all what I expected. Sure I woke up lots during the night two or three times to feed you but I already didn’t sleep well or much so that didn’t phase me. GiGi helped out with holding you a little during the day so I could do things at home. I ended up feeling more like I was hosting GiGi than really needing help but it sure felt nice to have your grandma there in case I panicked. I think she really enjoyed sharing your first moments with you too. After that first week, your Taylor family came to meet you too. They were in St. John when you were born and we had to deliver the good news via phone. They were disappointed to be late but they were thrilled to meet you when they did. Grannie Jannie and Aunt Sabita stayed a few days later than the rest of the family. Your first photo shoot was orchestrated by your Taylor grandmother. We went to Hobby Lobby and stocked up on background fabrics and props. You were a great photo subject for a good two hours but then the new mommy in me couldn’t handle your subtle cues of annoyance due to all of the fiddling with you anymore and I called it. We got some super cute pictures from it though and below is the one that we used for your birth announcement. Beautiful. 

Everyone thought so. Finally, we had a few days with just us. GiGi took your brothers to Houston so it was really just us. Your daddy and I really enjoyed those early moments. We started a bad habit, though, of having you snuggle to sleep with me instead of in your crib. We only had the pack-n-play in Austin and you had issues with acid reflux so you weren’t comfortable sleeping on your back. I couldn’t bear hearing you cry – it was so much harder than I imagined having to listen to you uncomfortable. You weren’t really even crying much but I just knew you wouldn’t even make a single noise if I held you so I did. I held you all the time. I never wanted to put you down. I didn’t even want to sleep. I just wanted to stare at you all the time. I was sold on you, and your daddy’s heart was melted by you too. 

The Celebrations and Commemorations

You were showered with love on many occasions. My best friend here in Austin, Kelsey Edwards, offered to throw a shower with Mandy Krutsinger, and then you also had one in Houston thrown by Camille, Ms. Gretchen, . 

Both events were awesome. In Houston, lots of old family friends and high school friends came to celebrate you. We got a ridiculous amount of stuff. The theme was favorite books so many people brought their favorites for you. We also got the stroller set from your Taylor grandparents so that we super nice. In Austin, the set up and decorations were gorgeous and we got lots of great stuff from my friends at work and church. GiGi got you the revamped rocking chair, made a pillow, and got the bedding set for your crib. We had so much stuff for you, but the best part was being with a lot of people that I don’t get to see often enough and celebrating this new part of my life – waiting for you to make your debut. 

While I was in Houston, GiGi and I went out to take maternity pictures. I may have been a little too gutsy standing up on waterfalls while 37 weeks pregnant but they turned out pretty cute. We had to stuff my tummy and lay on pillows at some points to make my stomach look as pregnant as I was. Fortunately, you didn’t take up a lot of space and between you and the gestational diabetes and throwing up, I hadn’t gained much weight at all. In the nick of time, daddy and I also went out in Austin with Uncle Chance and took couple’s maternity pictures too. It was all business with your dad and I was pretty tired on my feet by this time marching around south Congress looking for photo opportunities, but they also turned out pretty cute. We got them taken just before you came so it was great timing on our part and yours! 

Hey There Delilah

Your daddy and I had gotten a package deal with the ultrasound boutique. At this point, I was getting a bunch of ultrasounds between necessary ones with the doctor and the perinatalogist for the gestational diabetes, but before I knew that would be happening, I had already purchased this package. It consisted of two 3D/4D ultrasounds where we got to see you first at 18 weeks then at 33 weeks. Both times we got lots of pictures and video clips of the experience. We went to the first consultation just the three of us – me, daddy, and you. Then, GiGi came with us for the final ultrasound. I’m so glad that we did this. It was pretty amazing to see you. The first time you resembled Lord Voldemort a little bit but now you were plumper and more baby-like. I could see my nose on you and we were a little nervous you had daddy’s ears. You were sucking on your hands and your foot at one point. Don’t worry you found those hands again after birth very quickly for soothers. It was an awesome experience to meet you so early. It made it very real despite the daily kicks that were my constant reminders. 

As for your name, it was a long time coming. I wanted a name that was not super common but not too crazy either. Your daddy surprisingly agreed to an uncommon name. I was so sure that he would want a run-of-the-mill name, but he came up with some of the most unique recommendations. We started with the top 100 names list and we each highlighted our top ten choices. There were not many common highlights. We started this process back when we thought you might still be a boy. We had more boy names in common than girl names. Another problem was me working at the children's hospital. I would like a name then I would have a crazy or super sad case with the same name and it would ruin it. I kept coming back to one of my favorite names, Lily. Unfortunately, your Aunt Taryn beat me to the punch on this name and used it for your cousin's middle name. I was playing off of variations of this name when I came up with Lilah. I really liked it. It seemed unique but still had the Lily flavor. Then I stepped it up to Delilah and I thought this name was pretty, cute, and I had not seen a Delilah at the hospital yet. I figured you would have lots of options with it too. When you get old enough to care, you could choose from Delilah, Lilah, or Lily - or frankly whatever you want. The middle name was easy. We wanted to honor someone in our family by passing to you a family member's name and it was second nature to me to pick Jean. Your daddy's grandmother was one of the most amazing women I have ever met and it breaks my heart that you won't have the opportunity to meet her when you get here. I know that she would have loved you. When I first met her, she loved me instantly without reservation and without judgement. She was graceful, kind, and selfless. She had served so many people through missions for the church and just in her daily life. Everyone that knew her spoke so highly of her. She was such a warm presence to be around. Even when things were the worst for her, she maintained an amazing demeanor with ever present faith, love, and hope. With her name, I hope that you are constantly reminded of a wonderful woman who I know is watching over you now and loves you very much too! 

The Illness Called Pregnancy

Now for the negatives. You were not a bundle of joy inside the womb. I’m calling it. I did not like being pregnant. There were moments where it was exciting and amazing, but there were many more moments were it was not. I was sick about 5 or 6 times a day everyday for about 7 months of the pregnancy. Now we aren’t talking mild nausea but full-on vomiting multiple times a day - again EVERYDAY! I already loved the whole idea of you, but this was torture. It started about 8 weeks into the pregnancy with mild nausea. I started using ginger gum and acupressure wrist bands. Then it got worse and I stepped it up to Zofran - so much Zofran. I got my first refill prescription from a doctor in the ER at work because I was so miserable that I couldn’t wait the whole weekend to call my doctor for a refill. Working full time did not help either. Running around on my feet for twelve hours with high intensity cases was tough when I had to keep running out of the rooms to throw up. Everyone kept telling me it was because you were a girl or (my favorite) don’t worry, you won’t remember this later. I still remember. It’s hard to forget throwing up so hard that you pee on yourself a little every time - all new kinds of embarrassing. But to add insult to injury, I find out at about 28 weeks that I not only have hyper-emesis but I also have gestational diabetes. There was no history on either side of our families of diabetes – during pregnancy or otherwise. My numbers were subtle and thankfully I could manage it with dietary changes alone rather than medication. I did have to prick myself four times daily to take blood glucose levels. I quickly was able to take that down to a couple of times a week to maintain good numbers because for the first time in my life, I was intense with my diet - only for you baby girl. It was difficult though as a no sugar and low carb diet would be hard for anyone, but especially for me who pretty much lives on pasta and pizza. Daddy took me out for one last Double Dave’s pizza buffet before committing to the diet. The one benefit of gestational diabetes was seeing a specialist once a month for the duration of the pregnancy. I got to have an ultrasound each time and see you again. You were pretty cute even in-utero. The one scary thing is that each time they would tell me how huge you were and that you were going to be a fat baby – an anticipated possible outcome of a gestational diabetes case. My numbers were looking good but you kept getting bigger. I had to get stricter with my diet to manage it. I even went to the doctor 8/1/12 and they told me that you were still on “the big side” and if you went full term that you would be 9-10 pounds. Looking back, I definitely still remember the difficulty with the pregnancy, but what I am most surprised with is how eager I would be to do it all again if I had to because of what a wonderful outcome I had - because of you - the baby who was most definitely not on "the big side". 

The Gender Reveal

Like I said, I had a few more ultrasounds than most others by this point because of my friends in the ER. The story here is in the details. On the 16^th, I had an ultrasound at work with a few nurse friends that were adamant that you were a boy. They printed me a picture and told me what was what. Awkwardly, a male doctor that happened to be working that night also came in to see what we were doing and decided to dive in and help out. I did not know him as well as the girls I was working with so it was a little weird, but he was the one who said that it was too early to tell gender. Despite the doctor’s words, I was starting to celebrate the news. I told your daddy that you were a boy while he was waking up the morning I came home from work. I shook him a little and said you are going to have a son. He was thrilled – he even almost woke up a little which is a big deal for your dad that early in the morning. Then along comes the 21^st when we went to have our anatomy ultrasound at the Austin Perinatal office. The woman who was performing the ultrasound was super quick and efficient and just went on warp speed through the ultrasound. She did ask if we wanted to know the gender, and she did not really dwell on it or make it dramatic like they do in the movies. But, we were definitely shocked like they show in the movies because instead of saying it’s a boy as we had expected she told us you were a little girl! To be honest, I cried a little in the car when we left the office. It was not because I was not thrilled to have you, but I had mentally prepared myself for a little boy and considering how much of a tomboy that I was, I thought I would be better equipped to be a basketball player’s mom than a ballerina's mom. I also thought that your dad would be more excited with a baby boy so I felt like I was disappointing him. It took us a little time to wrap our heads around having a girl, but within a week or two, I was buying pink clothes and spending hours perusing names for you. It wouldn’t be until we had you when we really realized what a blessing it was to have a girl - and your daddy could not stop talking about how happy he was to have daddy's little angel first.